The Slender Man: Full Movie review

Well we wasn't standing there a second ago.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAKUE_6sA08

Shaky cam horror will smack of one of two things depending on how much money is involved. If funding is lacking it is an honest way of showing this, and the audience will consider this as part of the film's atmosphere, such as Blair Witch Project, the home-video trickery of which stuffed mashed potatoes down the backs of many-a-trouser while only costing £15,000 (Or dollars, unsure). If the budget cheque is signed by The Federal Bank of Hollywood the jittering hand held camera is considered Director's Vision, and you get films like Cloverfield having people puke in the aisles. The problem with high-budget films in this style is that there's all too great a temptation to focus on the animated creation for a few seconds, staying as still as possible so you can see every carefully crafted throbbing vein and drooling orifice. At this point the illusion is gone and you're able to cope with this foul demon no matter how many jump scares he pulls on you because you know you could rid of him with CtrlAltDelete.

"The Slender Man" lies skew in the middle of the budget spectrum, or at least when it comes to using computers with shaky cam. It's somewhat established that Slenderman videos are done using handheld cameras, and that the general reason the characters are filming in the first place is a school project (or something) before they attract the attention of a paranormal child abducting businessman. This way when the series first starts all that's needed are some isolated locations, a YouTube account and some thick stockings to pull over a tall guy's head.

And why not? Slenderman is recognized as not really belonging to anyone, and the creator who first posted his photoshop work on SomethingAwful has no interest in making money off of the exponentially growing popularity. Even the producers of this film, Super Movie Bros (SMB), have added a disclaimer to the YouTube video asking viewers to distribute and use it as they please: "Slender Man belongs to the internet."

Super Movie Bros have followed the hand-held camera style because they know that's how people like their Slendy, but they've got some production values on top of this. People familiar with the stalking suit will agree that he usually appears when you aren't looking and doesn't move a whole lot. Here's where the computer work of SMB's incarnation of Slenderman has drawn something away the atmosphere, because this Slendy apparates on screen before your very eyes. At one point in a fixed camera moment he rises out of the carpet like the T1000, tentacles a-flailing (that's another point; the magic of computers has broken new ground in Slendy videos with the appearance of his tentacles, normally only seen in pictures. Your enjoyment of these may vary). They still have many moments of the camera swinging around and having him suddenly where you were just looking (be prepared for the "He's behind you!" moment; You'll know when it is), but Slenderman's onscreen debut is a center screen screamer against a man shouting at the top of his voice; this'll get you the first time, but after that it holds as much tension as a jack-in-the-box, especially when you realise they've left a man-sized gap in the shot for him to spring from.

Don't think that that means this isn't a scary film, because it is, and the said "swinging" moments get me every time.  But that's just the half of the film you were expecting; to SMB's credit, some of the best moments are actually when the sinister suit doesn't show up. There's a mild mystery plot line to tie the appearances together, and this has some superbly chilling moments. The opening scene has a little boy playing baseball with his half-hearted father with thick woods in the background, a bit like that field you used to play in as a kid or maybe even like the further reaches of your back garden. Things go badly from there; you just know the ball will go a bit too far into the woods and someone will have to go fetch it, no matter how you wish they wouldn't have to. These moments are as tense as the hands clasped over your eyes, and portrays a scene nothing short of a nightmare. I was more scared of a particularly dark corridor I couldn't see the end of during some dialogue than I was of any distorted screamers. (I can't really pass that of as "some dialogue" either; amplified by this rising buzzing you first think is background noise, the onscreen character voices the parental fears of how easy it is to steal a child if you let your guard down. It's damn frightening).

Despite some great horror using the bare minimum resources of Darkness and Nothing, there are some moments that didn't need to be included; the last thing I wanted to see in a Slenderman movie was a shoot-out, and the detached villain's motive monologue wasn't needed (neither was the sobbing screams over the top of it which damn near blew my speakers). There are better ways to have the villain explain his reasoning than having him explain his reasoning, and there are better ways to kill off a character than straight out killing them off. But what the Hell, the film's free and they had 15 minutes left by that point, whatever they need to do. Besides, immediately after is the "running through the forest at night" scene you've been dreading, at which point they made the great directing decision to switch to a lower quality camera - now entering Silent Hill folks.

I've always figured that the easiest genre to make is horror, because the script can be forgettable as long as The Scare makes up for everything, but this is why we get aisles of crap who reveal what The Scare looks like as soon as possible and rely on revulsion and gore after that. Super Movie Bros are in great taste, making use of the simplest tricks and oldest fears, hitting a very special spot somewhere on every human amygdala that makes the unknown a possibility and child abduction a reality. Get some friends (or don't.) and watch this on full screen  Then enjoy another night running from your bathroom to your bed and not opening your eyes until morning.

You can watch the film from YouTube here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35HBFeB4jYg
Be sure to check out MarbleHornets (http://www.youtube.com/user/MarbleHornets) and EverymanHYBRID (http://www.youtube.com/user/EverymanHYBRID) while you're at it. Support your online series maker.